Office Life Jokester Gifts

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

He likes to make work fun

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'