Jokester Of The Office Gifts

"We hired Steve after the copier kept breaking down!"

"Well, our bodies ARE 60% water."

'Due to budget cutbacks on the picnic committee, I've downgraded the foie gras from triple A to AA+.'

"Thanks to my advice your lame software doesn't work at all now? No need to thank me, sir! That's what customer service is for!"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Laptop Dancing.

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."