Office Jokesters Gifts

"We offer a comprehensive benefits plan that covers everything from minor cuts to nasty scrapes."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'They're looking for the bottom line.'

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

Step class member taking the elevator at work

'We're looking for a consensus-building team player, if that's all right with you.'

"Miss Williamson, could you please bring in my real glasses now?"

"Then I made the leap from skilled labor to unskilled management."

'He slept in. We'll need to reschedule. How is early spring for you?'

"Team, I'd like to introduce Mr. Mandrake aka 'The Sales Magician'."

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

Invoice...outvoice.

"How did you get past my secretary?"

Ways to waste time at work.

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

When you recruited me from university, I wasn't expecting anything like this.

Living Longer Magazine.

STRIP Hambone: Zebra computer repairman

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

How about swapping wives for the day?

"Where do you see yourself in five thunderstorms?"

Tiddles made a mental note to stop watching silly human videos on her work laptop.

"What were those songs you were singing?"

Retirement Presentation - Please think again, my wife doesn't want me home all day.

"The report's not ready? Harrison, you've got to use your time more wisely!"

"I don't understand. If your name isn't, 'Resume', why is it across the top of the page?"

"Whoopsie. . . I think I just growled at you."

The main reason I was chosen to be the senior manager is my ability to always be calm, wise and right. . .What's that in your hand?! Is that a shiny thing?!!. . ."

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"It's an extreme reaction to being asked to do the tea run."

'The board insisted that we recruit younger talent.'

"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."