Home Office Jokester Gifts

"I'm changing the laptop password!"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Golfing Boss

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Work Parfait

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Lethal Presentation

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."