Work-life Jokester Gifts

"And after you've been with us for awhile you're entitled to a week at the company's resort cubicle."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

He likes to make work fun

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'Well, I was looking for a yes-man, but I guess a toady will do just as well.'