Humorist Of Work-life Gifts

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Death Boss

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

"A raise? Unlimited free refills aren't enough for you?"

'My story's a lot like yours. It all started on 'Bring your pet to work day' a few years ago. I was ready for a change, I liked it here, and I stayed!'

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

"Don't think of it as being laid off, think of it as a cure for your workaholicism."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

"Productivity may be up but I miss seeing people miserable."

"My wife is about to have a baby, so I was wondering if you could make me work late for the next eighteen years or so."

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'Henderson! Have you been drinking again?'

'Elaine, no interruptions for the next ten seconds please.'

"Tell me about the sunshine, George."

"Put down your cell phone and check your job!"

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

A cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. Or a weak arm.

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

"Endless Summer III"

Ant Drones

Gerald seems to have turned into a Viking during lockdown

"Working from home again, Jerry?"

"A little hard work never killed anyone. But still, why tempt fate?"

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

"I was married to my job for years, and now, all of a sudden, I'm paying ALIMONY to it!"

'Man, this elevator goes on forever...'

"When my grandad retired you got a gold watch, I was told I could pop back and ask the time when they weren't too busy for me."