Office Jest Pillows

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

Overworked in the office

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"I hate performance review season."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Lumbar support animal

Parade of Businessmen

Meat Grinder

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity