Office Dynamic Analyst Gifts

'I never get any credit for all the years we upsized.'

"Of course contributing to Sally's wedding gift is strictly voluntary...naturally I'llave to list you as not contributing on the company website!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

'If you want to spend more time with your family, have them apply for jobs here.'

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"