Office Dynamics Observer Gifts

Conglomerates

Don't jump! You haven't paid your five bucks for the office lottery pool yet!

"The weather this morning will be freezing in your house because of your cheap husband, followed by a beautiful temperate stretch in your car. Late morning, you'll see a change to crazy hot because Cheryl sets the office temperature and Cheryl apparently wants everyone soaked in their own sweat."

"Were letting you go, Hayward, because that's standard industry practice."

Keep up the good work or else. A Passive-Aggressive Performance Review.

"His ability to shoulder all the blame makes him irreplaceable."

'Unlike a lot of bosses, ours isn't shy about admitting when he's wrong. And THAT's the problem!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Terry had a computer bug.

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'