Workplace Dynamics Observer Gifts

Passing the buck.

Boss to employee: 'You've earned our trust, Wigman. Starting tomorrow, the electronic ankle monitoring device comes off.'

'I'm the boss who promised change...Griswell, you're fired! Segmott, you have Griswell's job.'

"Oh, don't be fooled by his exterior... Inside, he's just a bullying, insensitive jerk!"

'I demanded a raise. They moved my desk to the roof.'

'If I compliment you on your work, promise you won't ask for a rise.'

Transparency and big business.

'I've never had any problems getting people to volunteer.'

"Listen, Dobson, your inscrutable smile may work in Research & Development, but it doesn't cut here in sales!"

"When you violate one of our unwritten rules you'll know it by the unspoken censure."

"I said I want that report on office bullying and I want it now!"

"He's fond of saying his dorr is always open, but he's seldom ever there."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Women in the office should appear attractive but not seductive. Unfortunately, we have to dress for success and self-defense at the same time.'

Absent Staff/Absent Minded Staff.

'He never has any stress but he is a carrier.'

'Henderson likes to keep a low profile.'

'You were the last person I expected to fall down on the job, Trubshaw.'

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

'What's the day today?'

'Have you decided who's going to be team leader?'

Receptionist takes managing director a cup of coffee/tea, finds him having sex with someone, leaves, then comes back with two cups of coffee/tea.

'Do you ever stop to think?' - 'Do you ever think to stop?'

'I am becoming a jerk. Get a memo to all departments.'

Shepherd standing watch over herd of scapegoats.

'Take a deep breath and don't panic---we're walking by the reason this area's known as the 'fear factor''

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

'Let's drop the first names, Lou. I think I'm going to have to turn on you.'

'In this office... we have a different kind of dressing-down fridays.'

"Have some employees step in to wish me a Merry Christmas."

I don't feel very secure on this job.

"This is my son Simon he's here on work experience."

'I'm going to give you an extra week of vacation just to see if we can get along without you.'

"I need someone to head up a team of first responders that can arrive on short notice when I need people to scream at."

"Watch it... the boss is in a crappy mood."