Workplace Dynamics Enthusiast Gifts

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'She is at least fair - she talks down to everyone.'

'Hey you two, take it off-line!'

Miss Wilkins, I need you to pop in and hang up my phone for me again.

'Can we talk... alone?'

"This is the new temp, she'll be replacing whoever we decide to sack this afternoon"

Door signs: 'Top Dog' and 'The Litter.'

'Well I don't see any harassment from your union colleagues.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Nurse, could you get me a spatula. I think they're in this drawer here."

"Whoa! Nice job with the display, Jeng!"

"If you would increase my salary you'd feel I'm worth more."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."