Workplace Dynamics Critic Gifts

"Aw... I'm really sorry you're bored Jenkins. I wonder if I can rekindle your interest with some of this work you should be doing?"

"Bring me that report on absenteeism..."

"So...what's the most important thing about working at Auto y Rod Inc.?"

"This is a company which is going places...."

"Only I, am entitled to use ignorance as an excuse!"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Welcome to the Team

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"