Office Dynamics Analyst Gifts

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

"Make up one for the office that says 'Hard Head Area'."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"That one shows our office cliques."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'I'm from the creative department, I don't actually do anything.'

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."