Office Dynamics Analyst Gifts

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

"Make up one for the office that says 'Hard Head Area'."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"That one shows our office cliques."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'