Office Dynamics Detective Gifts

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'I'm from the creative department, I don't actually do anything.'

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

'If you want to spend more time with your family, have them apply for jobs here.'

"I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, will do my job, and has no interest in having my job."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.