Office Dynamics Detective Pillows

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

'If you want to spend more time with your family, have them apply for jobs here.'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'I'm from the creative department, I don't actually do anything.'

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, will do my job, and has no interest in having my job."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.