Office Comedy Collectors Gifts

"Can I keep the hairpiece on?"

'My trick for avoiding extra work is to look busy all the time...'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Banana Split...

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Snowmobull

Friday

Turtle Hat

"The Eggsorcist"

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Filet minion

E-Baying @ The Moon

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"If you'd like to take a seat."

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

A trevor of trainspotters

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

"Whose the new guy?"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.