Workplace Comedy Collector Gifts

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

'There's a hole in the women's restroom wall!', 'I have some men looking into it.'

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

Banana Split...

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

E-Baying @ The Moon

Turtle Hat

Snowmobull

Friday

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Filet minion

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"The Eggsorcist"

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

A trevor of trainspotters

"I appreciate the effort Carl, but I don't think you understand the swarm concept."