Office Chatter Participant Gifts

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"I hear you may do a baby."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'Cold hard facts are good, but to complete the picture, here's Brenda from the mailroom with some hot, juicy gossip.'

Social Notworking

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.

'Seems like everyday is bring your work to work day.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

'Have a great day, but not at my expense.'

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

Employee Questions.

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

It was like he could read my mind.

"Before we start. Can I empower you to pour the coffee?"

"And this graph illustrates how our merger talks are going with Behemoth Industries."