Office Chatter Participant Pillows

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"I hear you may do a baby."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

'Cold hard facts are good, but to complete the picture, here's Brenda from the mailroom with some hot, juicy gossip.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.

'Have a great day, but not at my expense.'

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'Seems like everyday is bring your work to work day.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

Employee Questions.

It was like he could read my mind.

"Before we start. Can I empower you to pour the coffee?"

'After reviewing your job performance...'

Suggestions.