Office Chatter Champion Gifts

"Ya hear uncle Fred's gonna quit drinkin'?"

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"I hear you may do a baby."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.

"I hope your day is going bad."

'Seems like everyday is bring your work to work day.'

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

'Have a great day, but not at my expense.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"I miss the old water cooler."

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

"Maybe we overdid the sedation."

Dadonomics

Full Of Beans

It was like he could read my mind.

"Before we start. Can I empower you to pour the coffee?"

'I quit drinking coffee with lunch - it was keeping me awake all afternoon.'