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"Ya hear uncle Fred's gonna quit drinkin'?"

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"I hear you may do a baby."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.

"I hope your day is going bad."

'Have a great day, but not at my expense.'

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

'Seems like everyday is bring your work to work day.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"Maybe we overdid the sedation."

Full Of Beans

Dadonomics

"I miss the old water cooler."

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

It was like he could read my mind.

"Before we start. Can I empower you to pour the coffee?"

'I quit drinking coffee with lunch - it was keeping me awake all afternoon.'

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