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If Only...."I've heard that our new manager is competent, knowledgable and easy going...!"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"I hear you may do a baby."

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'We want you to take the hindmost.'

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

Boss to employee: 'I'm downsizing your paycheck.'

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.