Group Chatter Gifts

"I have to call Anne, Tina, Pam, Jen, Rhonda, Jo, Beth, Jess, Debbie, Tonya, Cindy, Chris and Liz. There's drama going on, so we'll have to postpone that hug."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

"I hear you may do a baby."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Gee, you'd think all that tithing would count for something.'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'I'm a little worried about the dedication to His Satanic Majesty, Bishop.'

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

Gossipmongers stocking up at the rumor mill

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

'You'll love the congregation. We're chock-full of sermon material.'

REPENT, 'Hey! -- Go find your own corner!'

"So ... is the Pope Catholic?"

"I put an olive in my beer and turn it into a health drink."