Office Actor Gifts

"I flunked out of acting school, but it was good training. I know how to act like I know what I'm doing."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Shepherd and eurydice

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

They hated me.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Showbiz Awards

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"