Actor Gifts

"It's the old story. I was in the middle of successful acting career when I was bitten by the accounting bug."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

Hamlet's Duplex

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

''... or not to be'!'

Crime in the theater district was the worst. Too much drama: 'okay good, now wiggle your fingers and sway back and forth in the wind.'

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

Shakespeare in the Way

"There just aren't any good parts."

Millie Bobby Brown

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown (caricature)

The British Hamlet. He says: 'Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ... well, I say knew, more of an acquaintance really. Only met the chap three or four times.'

Six Characters in search of an outlet.

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

I had a career in theatre, and television but I quit because I couldn't suppress my passion for insurance sales

"So. . . who'd like to have a go at defining Britishness?"

Presentation skills.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"I know I'm suppose to be a customer but what kind of customer...am I tortured, am I HAPPY? What's my MOTIVATION?"

Kylie Minogue.

A town crier ringing his bell and shouting the news.

'And what do you do?'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'I'm a struggling actor hired by your insurance company. Your policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

Theater masks wearing face masks

"yes, but why do me want a cookie."

Big deal - a guy writes a couple of plays, and suddenly he thinks he's the spokesman for his generation.

William Shakespeare

Stage Manager: 'Is THERE a BETTER ACTOR in the House?!'

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'