Acting Gifts

"It's the old story. I was in the middle of successful acting career when I was bitten by the accounting bug."

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

"Great! O.K., this time I want you to sound taller, and let me hear a little more hair."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

''... or not to be'!'

Crime in the theater district was the worst. Too much drama: 'okay good, now wiggle your fingers and sway back and forth in the wind.'

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

"I knew Yorick also. He gave me diarrhea."

"There just aren't any good parts."

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown (caricature)

Millie Bobby Brown

I had a career in theatre, and television but I quit because I couldn't suppress my passion for insurance sales

Presentation skills.

'...And for future reference, Mr. Glynn, you don't need to 'get in character' for regression therapy.'

"OK, we need the body double for the eating scene."

"I know I'm suppose to be a customer but what kind of customer...am I tortured, am I HAPPY? What's my MOTIVATION?"

'And what do you do?'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'I'm a struggling actor hired by your insurance company. Your policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

Theater masks wearing face masks

William Shakespeare

One-man show: Only one man shows up in audience.

Big deal - a guy writes a couple of plays, and suddenly he thinks he's the spokesman for his generation.

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'

"yes, but why do me want a cookie."

"Page 33, line 4..."

'Henry will play Godzilla in this dramatic rendering of the structure's design integrity.'

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

Sid James

Stage Manager: 'Is THERE a BETTER ACTOR in the House?!'

"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

Stephen Fry.