Acting Pillows

"It's the old story. I was in the middle of successful acting career when I was bitten by the accounting bug."

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

"Great! O.K., this time I want you to sound taller, and let me hear a little more hair."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

''... or not to be'!'

Crime in the theater district was the worst. Too much drama: 'okay good, now wiggle your fingers and sway back and forth in the wind.'

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown (caricature)

"I knew Yorick also. He gave me diarrhea."

Millie Bobby Brown

"There just aren't any good parts."

I had a career in theatre, and television but I quit because I couldn't suppress my passion for insurance sales

Presentation skills.

'...And for future reference, Mr. Glynn, you don't need to 'get in character' for regression therapy.'

"OK, we need the body double for the eating scene."

"I know I'm suppose to be a customer but what kind of customer...am I tortured, am I HAPPY? What's my MOTIVATION?"

'And what do you do?'

Theater masks wearing face masks

'I'm a struggling actor hired by your insurance company. Your policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

William Shakespeare

"Page 33, line 4..."

Big deal - a guy writes a couple of plays, and suddenly he thinks he's the spokesman for his generation.

Sid James

'Henry will play Godzilla in this dramatic rendering of the structure's design integrity.'

Stage Manager: 'Is THERE a BETTER ACTOR in the House?!'

One-man show: Only one man shows up in audience.

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

Stephen Fry.

'I'm playing St. Patrick in the school play. I need a miter and ten thousand snakes by Friday.'

'I can't find the words to express my anger with you.' - 'She needs a dictionary.'