Acting Students Pillows

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'They all want to play the star.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

'Hamlet'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Theatre Masks and Butts

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Joan Hickson

Theatre Crowd

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'