Office Superstar Gifts

'Formerly the cute blonde in the mail room'

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

Employee of the Month - female.

'You say he left the office hours ago?'

"Guess how we did in the quarterly results?"

Determined to Succeed.

"This is Harold. . . He's in charge of office merriment."

In basket-case.

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

Work Slave

"Fine - you don't want to run in the corporate 5K - I get it. What about the corporate cage fighting team?"

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

In - Out - Pending.

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

"He excels at putting out fires."

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

Executive Asks Death To Wait

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'