Offbeat Sense Of Humor Gifts

Dunbreathin.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Justitia, the goddess of justice, is picking a dollar bill from the ground.

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Pope Kimba XXIII.

'How is this for a headline: Climate change denial blogs cause further global warming.'

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"It requires so much less work than a dog."

Road Kill Cafe.

'Have a good day? No thank you. I had other plans.'

Whipping Cream

Magnet at scrapyard

'Mate, when did you get your tongue pierced..?'

"It's called 'A Package Holiday'"

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell my kids that I'm actually made of money."

'So the little boy who missed his bedtime was eaten by the awful slimy monster and was never heard from again.'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

'He's been at it too long. Now, when he bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

Ninja

'You see a problem, I see a challenge. Let's quit whining over knife crime and start taxing knives!'

"I asked you to take Mother home, not too a home."

"Ok, Monica, here's where it gets weird."

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

"You're going to fit right in here at the firm."

"Just because he's neutered and declawed doesn't mean he's not dangerous."