Offbeat Sense Of Humor Pillows

Dunbreathin.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Justitia, the goddess of justice, is picking a dollar bill from the ground.

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'How is this for a headline: Climate change denial blogs cause further global warming.'

Pope Kimba XXIII.

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"It requires so much less work than a dog."

Magnet at scrapyard

'Have a good day? No thank you. I had other plans.'

Road Kill Cafe.

'Mate, when did you get your tongue pierced..?'

"It's called 'A Package Holiday'"

Whipping Cream

'So the little boy who missed his bedtime was eaten by the awful slimy monster and was never heard from again.'

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

'How much is it doc?' 'Fif...fif...fif...seventy five dollars.'

Ninja

"I asked you to take Mother home, not too a home."

'He's been at it too long. Now, when he bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

If Only Magazine: The Pot Belly Is In!

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

"Ok, Monica, here's where it gets weird."

'You see a problem, I see a challenge. Let's quit whining over knife crime and start taxing knives!'