Sense Of Humor Pillows

"That's true, Jeffrey, but you're missing the point."

'But on the bright side, we'll never have to serve jury duty.'

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

Dispelling the myth that a dog can find his way home from hundreds of miles away.

"It requires so much less work than a dog."

Ninja

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

'He's been at it too long. Now, when he bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

#1 Jerk-off

'...he's teaching me air guitar.'

"I asked you to take Mother home, not too a home."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"I have heated your beer in the microwave because you told me you like hot drinks!"

"Have you ever actually won a bet?"

"I saw you sneaking that case of toilet tissue in the house early this morning, Dad... what are you up to?"

"Me Henshaw, you've tested positive for Bovid."

"Just because he's neutered and declawed doesn't mean he's not dangerous."

"C'mon, man, we're gonna need you to find that or...things might not workout with you."

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

"So, this is Becky. She's single and she's totally your type."

"I see this as a blessing!!!"

"What do you say we spice i up a little bit and try a different position for once?"

What is it now?!?!?! Is it the pants?!?!? What!?!?

Monkey Business Suit

'Really Barthok? That's very demonic of you.'

'This is what happens when you learn wine appreciation at a college fraternity.'

'Thirty years for murder one? - Couldn't you just give me some sensitivity training?'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

Homeless, crippled, blind, inanimate object.

"I don't know about you chaps, but i always get terrible wind after a big Indian lunch."

Tanning Salon.

Man relieving himself in a fountain

'Your uncle Tom's a legend - Always has a beautiful woman on his arm...'

Pope Kimba XXIII.

'You listen to me carefully, son. Any more of this behaviour and I might just answer the peoples' call for a second coming!'