Sense Of Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Well, thank goodness that was a soft landing!"

"Very funny."

It's the thought that counts...'on our first anniversary he gave me a pearl necklce. On our silver anniversary he gave me a colonoscopy!'

'So this is your idea of making things more fun in the bedroom?'

'I'm not tall/dark/handsome/personable/witty...but I'm rich as hell!'

"It appears to have all the physical properties of a normal plant. . . Hello - what's this?"

A beaver with his false teeth in a glass.

'Please buzz before entering.' That Marge is quite the joker.

Not knowing the HR Manager had a heart condition, the applicant sent a resume that would not be forgotten.

"I've been thinking...why do you like me?"

"I know I asked you to name our meeting rooms after famous places, John, but..."

"What do you love best about me. . . my handsome face or my sexy body?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Do Not Resuscitate

Faster, Georges, faster!