Sense Of Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Well, thank goodness that was a soft landing!"

"Very funny."

It's the thought that counts...'on our first anniversary he gave me a pearl necklce. On our silver anniversary he gave me a colonoscopy!'

'So this is your idea of making things more fun in the bedroom?'

'I'm not tall/dark/handsome/personable/witty...but I'm rich as hell!'

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"It appears to have all the physical properties of a normal plant. . . Hello - what's this?"

Ernie, your online dating profile says you're tall, athletic and wealthy. this is the biggest joke I've ever seen! Good point, Frank. I need to add something about my great sense of humor!

A beaver with his false teeth in a glass.

'Please buzz before entering.' That Marge is quite the joker.

Not knowing the HR Manager had a heart condition, the applicant sent a resume that would not be forgotten.

"I've been thinking...why do you like me?"

"I know I asked you to name our meeting rooms after famous places, John, but..."

"What do you love best about me. . . my handsome face or my sexy body?"

"I want you to leave here today with a message of joy!..."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Support the Ex-Troops

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"