Sense Of Humor Fan Pillows

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

No, I don

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

tRUMp, Pirate President

'More government surveillance!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."