Sense Of Humor Fan Pillows

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Girl in cow onesie.

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'More government surveillance!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Joe has been partying hard!'