Macabre Sense Of Humor Pillows

Vulture waits outside operating theatre.

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'I've got an exciting new assignment for you. You're going to share one salary.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

Pope Kimba XXIII.

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

"I just love take-out."

Magnet at scrapyard

'Mate, when did you get your tongue pierced..?'

"It requires so much less work than a dog."

Death Watch

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

"Back in 15 min."

Preserved head and mobile phone.

'Bad man... you're a bad man!'

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

The Grim Rapper

'He's been at it too long. Now, when he bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

"I asked you to take Mother home, not too a home."

Ninja

'You can come back as a zombie OR a ghost, Randy, but not both.'

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

"Doctor, enough with the ‘clear.’ My husband’s dead!"

Skeleton scientists