Offbeat Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Road Kill Cafe.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

Boomerang cow.

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Crime in bookshop

Men Working Things Out

Franz Kafka

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"Wow! Check out the moon."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

'It takes all day to eat it.'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

That's It

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

Ink Eraser

A Centaur Taking A Shower

'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

Universidad

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

Expensive health care