Offbeat Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Road Kill Cafe.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Boomerang cow.

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Crime in bookshop

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Men Working Things Out

Franz Kafka

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"Wow! Check out the moon."

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

'It takes all day to eat it.'

Ink Eraser

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

A Centaur Taking A Shower

'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."

Universidad

Expensive health care