Offbeat Entrepreneur Gifts

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

Off Off Off Off Broadway

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

Setting up companies

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

'Seven companies in three years.'

Yearbook photos from Miss Bubble's Hair Styling School.

"I don't know what it means, but since my mom added that word, sales have gone through the roof."

"Darby, Bandit, Piper & Spike - Dogs."

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

"Weed cookies"

'See, I told you we could cut out the middle men and sell the honey ourselves.'

'And what makes you think there's a market for golden eggs?'

Cow selling milk from small roadside stand.

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale?"

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

What are you doing? - 'I've set up an e-commerce site.' - 'What are you selling?' - 'Signed copies of my old boxer shorts.' - 'Washed £7. Unwashed £23.' - 'Yeah, baby. Market forces.' -

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

An ice cream van surrounded by igloos

Man panicing because woman has washed his money filled shorts

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

'If business is slow, and you want my advice, changing your business name would help...'

"He's always had a fascination with the hard drinking,hard living writer,the tortured genius. It's an image he's tried to emulate. Unfortunately he's only ever managed the first two parts." "I can't <hic> feel my face."

"We've merged and formed a company called 'Two Guys and a Hat.'"

I never asked you, what'd you do with that old shack you bought years ago? Which one? I've bought three. I have a whole portfolio of properties, Randy. Really? Yeah. There's the old shack by the toxic waste dump, there's the cardboard box in an alley in downtown Candorville, and there's that inner tube in the Pacific Ocean. Sad thing is, the way things are going, you're going to make a killing on those someday. You should see what I'm getting for those on AirBnB.