Ironic Entrepreneur Gifts

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

Setting up companies

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

'Seven companies in three years.'

"I don't know what it means, but since my mom added that word, sales have gone through the roof."

"Weed cookies"

'It's pretty common among cruising executives, Mrs. Johnson... we call it non-jet-lag.'

"Darby, Bandit, Piper & Spike - Dogs."

Help! Author of the best-selling book, 'How to invest' - but lost it all in the stock market.

'And what makes you think there's a market for golden eggs?'

Cow selling milk from small roadside stand.

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale?"

'When you said that you carried the whole weight of the company on your shoulders. . .'

"Repent! Or your return on investment shall wither and there will be great wailing and gnashing of teeth in Accounts Receivable."

I can't believe it - I've made it again!!!

Sunday sermon: 'Dearly beloved, restore our faith in the almighty dollar.'

The world can fry like a chip and end tomorrow as far as I'm concerned! I've made sure all my money is safe.

An ice cream van surrounded by igloos

"Whenever we talk to staff the work/life issue keeps cropping up!"

"If I ever get my own business, I'm going to practice the Golden Rule."

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."