Fan Of Entrepreneurial Humor Gifts

Your name written in the snow $1

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Spot the difference.

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"It lost a little something in translation."

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

Thesaurus Company

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'