Fan Of Humorous Business Insights Gifts

'Here's a composite of our target consumer.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Spot the difference.

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"It lost a little something in translation."

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'Thanks to our exensive cost-cutting efforts, we managed to turn a profit.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Quicksand in a modern office building? Don't be silly."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'