Off-season Travel Gifts

'Don't think discomfort, think off-season rates!'

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Daughters on the beach

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

Camping.

A private jet takes off

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Airplane Mode.

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

Leave Nothing But Footprints, Take Nothing But Selfies.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"Ah...here they are!"

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

YONDER...next 347 miles.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

Airport Bored Rooms

A Couple in A Speedboat.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'