Holiday Travel Season Gifts

'Your plane's been delayed 20 minutes...or however long it takes airplane glue to dry.'

A private jet takes off

Where your mind & battle are los

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"First class, or with children?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Airport Security.

Daughters on the beach

"Ninja bread men"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Tourists and their Pets.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

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