Holiday Travel Season Gifts

'Your plane's been delayed 20 minutes...or however long it takes airplane glue to dry.'

A private jet takes off

Where your mind & battle are los

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"First class, or with children?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"Ninja bread men"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Daughters on the beach

Airport Security.

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"