Planning A Holiday Trip Gifts

'Road closed for the holidays'

Carefree luggage.

Santa Claus's Mail

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Airlines

"First class, or with children?"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Airport Security.

Fight or Flight

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Italia tours

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."