Holiday Trip Gifts

"Sorry, water in my ears! What was that?...sharp?...spark?"

"Aren't you going to ask me if I've forgotten anything?"

'It's the last time I fly with a no-frills airline!'

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

Fish snorkling above water.

Fun on the pyramids

Tourist Shopping

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"The hotel was old and rotten, the service was lousy, but my wife really enjoyed the vacation because she had so much to moan about!"

'I don't think much of these Spanish FUN RUNS !'

"Very little fuel needed for the return flight from Ibiza, no money, no condoms"

'What luck, Jane. There's no line at the lift.'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

Say Cheese!

A Couple in A Speedboat.

'No you can't keep it!'

'Finally I dare to go topless. I feel free!!!'

'If you hold this to your ear and dial 0976854 you can hear the sea.'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Debauchery in Magaluf

"Do you know if they comply with airline baggage regulations?"

Bed & Breakfast

'No I haven't lost it...er. . . I left it on a sunbed!'

New York Sightseeing Cruises

Flotation Device on the Phone

"How was the beach, Stan?"

"She's missing out on her entire vacation."

Travellers refreshing themselves at a railway station

"I already had the snorkel, so I figured, why not!"

'It's nothing but ads form local seafood restaurants.'

'You're checking in for our flight--you don't have to play max coins.'

'Yes,I know this isn't a nudist beach but my luggage is still at Heathrow!'

'And now, a box set of our holiday DVDs.'

Death, on holiday, forgets to pack the sunscreen.