Holiday Travel Gifts

'There's a fee for each carry on bag, including your bag of potato chips.'

"You can pack this back up now."

Airport Security

Phil would try anything to avoid paying hefty airport parking fees.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"Now boarding all passengers seated in Discomfort Class."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"We will now begin boarding Group 2 and anyone from Group 3 or 4 bold enough to try."

"Fasten your money belt."

'The only thing going up in the air is Volanic Ash and our holiday plans.'

Cramped airport departure lounge.

'I don't think that flight attendant is having a good day.'

Luggage checks.

A Simplified Map Airport Map

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

'Something right by a washroom if you have it.'

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

Airport this way.

Sign by house with outside toilet reads: 'Brd, breakfast and flashlight.'

"Where aren't you going to?"

YONDER...next 347 miles.

'Your weight is 297 and you will soon be charged an extra airline fee...'

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'Luckily we picked Heathrow as our second choice on our budget holiday booking form.'

'Oops, that one crashed, too.... but don't worry, sir -- I'll find SOMETHING going to California.'

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

Dog luggage.

Lost Luggage/Lost Passengers

Airport Security.

'Did you pack your own luggage?'

Arrivals...Departures: 'Celebrities! Thank you for not intermingling entourages!'

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

"How's my tripping you up?"