Holiday Travel Pillows

'There's a fee for each carry on bag, including your bag of potato chips.'

"You can pack this back up now."

Airport Security

Phil would try anything to avoid paying hefty airport parking fees.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

'Something right by a washroom if you have it.'

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

A Simplified Map Airport Map

Luggage checks.

'I don't think that flight attendant is having a good day.'

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

Cramped airport departure lounge.

'The only thing going up in the air is Volanic Ash and our holiday plans.'

"Fasten your money belt."

"We will now begin boarding Group 2 and anyone from Group 3 or 4 bold enough to try."

"Now boarding all passengers seated in Discomfort Class."

"How's my tripping you up?"

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

Arrivals...Departures: 'Celebrities! Thank you for not intermingling entourages!'

'Did you pack your own luggage?'

Airport Security.

Lost Luggage/Lost Passengers

Dog luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

'Oops, that one crashed, too.... but don't worry, sir -- I'll find SOMETHING going to California.'

'Luckily we picked Heathrow as our second choice on our budget holiday booking form.'

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'Your weight is 297 and you will soon be charged an extra airline fee...'

YONDER...next 347 miles.

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

"Not only is our flight delayed, but the airline has declared bankruptcy."

"How was your flight?"

"This seat with extra legroom is great."