Holiday Travels Pillows

"Your pilot is still de-icing."

'George had a feeling this long-haul-flight wasn't going to be as peaceful as he had hoped!'

Tourists

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

Carefree luggage.

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Family with pets.

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

A private jet takes off

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Airplane Mode.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Leave Nothing But Footprints, Take Nothing But Selfies.

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

YONDER...next 347 miles.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

Airport Bored Rooms

A Couple in A Speedboat.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

'CANNONBALL!!' - Whale tours.

"She's missing out on her entire vacation."

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"How's my tripping you up?"