Holiday Travelers Gifts

Santa Puking In An Airplane

Thanksgiving Storms

Carefree luggage.

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

Airplane Mode.

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

A private jet takes off

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Leave Nothing But Footprints, Take Nothing But Selfies.

Temporarily Unavailable

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

YONDER...next 347 miles.

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

"Ah...here they are!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Airport Bored Rooms

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'