Off Licence Worker Gifts

'May I help you?' - 'Yes, can you recommend a Chardonnay?' - 'Hmmm... Not really, I don't drink wine.' - 'Why do you work in an off licence if you don't drink?' - 'I suffer from congenital irony.' - 'Ah.' -

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Office Park

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

'I need both hands for steering.'

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"You're just run down."

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

"Crumple this into a little ball, will you?"

What to do if the kids take away your car.

'It's like working a non-union job. You run around in circles and never get anywhere.'

"Get a computer?! Do I look as though I have room in here for a computer?"

The Easter Bunny in August

'Do you know that your pilot's license has expired?'

"It's an old photo."

"Romance beckons, don't hold back, adventure awaits, Pisces in picture..."

Interviewee: 'Nah, work related stress isn't a problem - I've never taken a job seriously enough for it to bother me!'

"I've got a dog licence. Will that do?"

Notice! Management hates to see associates working overtime. So, please keep your doors closed. Thanks!

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

"And how's Norman taking to his new job at the Kennels?"

'Doctor, I overheard you complaining how hard it was to get good kennel help...'

Skeleton in the Office

National Union of Contortionists: We vote with our feet

'Wanna bet they don't have telly licences?'

The Binman Cometh...

'Maybe you weren't meant to teach.'

"He was a plumber in his former life."

"Well, J.B., we're not a successful Internet company because we're not an Internet company."

'Christmas holds painful memories for Fred, that's when he lost his licence. '