Old-school Worker Gifts

"Get a computer?! Do I look as though I have room in here for a computer?"

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

Gen-Next Library

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

The Final Chapter.

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

The Club

'With government cyber snooping, we must communicate through channels no one would ever suspect...the postal service.'

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

"There's a rumor going around that the 90's are back."

"Eugene is retro. He thinks everything was better in low-def and black and white."

"When was this license issued?"

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

"Come on. I always browse the Mom and Pop stores before buying online."

"That's not an email, so you don't have to worry about it containing a virus. It's a birthday card from Nana."

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

"When I was your age, we walked three miles through the snow to school, and didn't have laptops on our school supply list."

'Well, on a pencil that rubber thing is called an eraser, not a delete button.'

"We're actually gossiping at a water cooler instead of on social media. Does this make us hipsters?"

"I know it's a ransom note, but it's just so refreshing to get a handwritten letter these days."

'Yeek. I need to ditch this thing and quick!'

'I feel useless: My Master has cancelled his newspaper subscription and reads his news online now...'